Boundaries

boundaries

most of the problems i see with men in relationships, romantic or otherwise, come down to one thing: no boundaries.

we’re too soft. we don’t want to hurt feelings. so instead of respecting ourselves, we let people walk all over us.

the irony is when you set boundaries, people usually respect you more. it feels good. better than swallowing resentment until it explodes later.

example: “hey, i don’t like when you grab me like that. we’re going to stop doing that, and do this instead.”

sounds confrontational, but it doesn’t have to be. it’s just clarity.

another reason to set boundaries is it shows you who you’re dealing with. if they handle it well, you can keep building with them. if they don’t, you just learned something important about your future together.

there’s a clean way and a dirty way to do this. clean is direct but respectful. you keep their dignity intact. dirty is making it about winning or shaming.

if more of us set clear boundaries, we’d have healthier relationships and probably a lot fewer divorces.